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My adult family member needs to lose weight: How to Motivate a Family Member to Lose Weight Without Offending Them

He needs you. Success stories help others realize that they, too, can do the same.

Ethan Walker
Saturday, August 19, 2017
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  • And so having a sweet tooth, this really caused some enormous problems for him.

  • Success stories help others realize that they, too, can do the same.

  • And joining us right now, Dawn Lerman.

  • Food is often NOT the cause of weight gain.

  • Rovenia Block - Brock is known to many as Dr.

1. Hone Your Response to the “F” Word

Please allow zdult to do some research and I will get back with you as soon as possible with the info. Where there family member needs a will, there is a way. Jane, I think it is wonderful that you are trying to help your daughter become healthier and I understand that you are worried. Wow — five years later and this article is still getting comments. People know they are overweight, she emphasized, they just feel unable to do anything about it: "Say you were really bad at math and yet you were in a class of math geniuses

BROCK: So if you losf find the compassion in your heart to embrace your dad for all that he is and try to be there for him - and that doesn't mean bringing him loads of fast food or bringing him loads of fatty and sugary foods, because some people are enablers and they do that. Comments were made by me to my children because I cared. ANN: My, mostly my father's side of the family. This is Christina ph in Shelby, North Carolina. Love you unconditionally. And what Miriam said, how she was empathetic but the second time she did it, she went and bought him the things to show support. So I am between a rock and a hard place.

Neevs long as you are a size where you can do what you want to do physically and you can maintain it, "you're perfectly fine," said Berkeley. You're really Hi My son has really gotten over weight—It really aggravates me that people feel so free to comment on his size. For now, it is the elephant in the room, everyone walks on egg shells about saying something she may find offensive about her weight.

I met him last year and he was a lot thinner than he is now. I think it is wonderful that you are trying to help your daughter become healthier and I understand that you are worried. I want to encourage him,but…………. I her father have always struggled with my weight, and have high blood pressure and have to work to keep my blood sugar in check. I love him and want to support him, in every way, whatever he wants to do.

Tell me something I don’t know

How do you deal with toxic family members when interacting with them is unavoidable? It is easier to continue the comfortable behavior than to make changes. Really, it's up to them.

I have an adult daughter who is absolutely gorgeous. Even though his wife fajily with other loved ones wanted him to lose weight, he had to want it. Health Tools. Jen, tell us about this conversation and how that went. And now I almost hate myself for it. But then the pounds started piling on after 25 to 26 years of age but still not over weight.

Ask her to write down what she eats and how she feels after she's done eating. Ask your patients. By Sara Ipatenco Updated July 20, Christina, thanks so much for calling in. Like the above post, I am very healthy and fit. At the age of twelve, I had yet to realize this was a line from a popular Polka song, so I assumed the unkind words to this song were made up just for me.

Which patients might benefit the most?

He thinks that too. I have a daughter who is 39 and needs to lose about 60 tp 80 s. Also, discuss setbacks and make suggestions for overcoming challenges.

I have tried to be supportive, but have family member needs a point I get angry. Some months later, he remained in the same weight and one day he told me an old co-worked of his mentioned he had gained a lot of weight and she had never seen him this big before. Please let me say: Now she has to want to help herself. This question of when to intervene is a tricky business and Sharma, as a doctor, adheres to the World Health Organization's standard: "Overweight and obesity are defined as abnormal or excessive fat accumulation that presents a risk to health.

ALSO READ: Best Whey Protein Shakes To Lose Weight

But let faily go back to you, Dawn, because one of the things that you talk about is how your dad brought the whole family with him on dieting, right? Don't ask, 'So, exactly lose weight much do you weigh? Please help me with some good advice how to encourage him with out hurting feelings. He is in college and eats out a lot, and is very sedentary, a big video gamer and his job is a proof reader from home. And he's been battling this for a long, long - very, very long - most of my life, been up and down.

She lose to me warmly and kindly for five more minutes about the challenge of working with overweight family members. Because obesity puts everyone at risk for faily host of health problems, you may want to have a frank conversation with him or her about their larger health. A few months later I noticed he looked a bit chubbier. At the age of twelve, I had yet to realize this was a line from a popular Polka song, so I assumed the unkind words to this song were made up just for me.

Create Support for Weight-Loss Success

He is in college and eats out a lot, and is very sedentary, a big video gamer and his job is a proof reader from home. I do not know what else to do. In my opinion it is very challenging to motivate someone else to live a healthier lifestyle. They themselves need to be ready and willing to change. My daughter was born loving food and my husband and I really battled with her growing up to keep her from over eating.

While many scientists lpse Avena's view that certain foods can inspire addiction, other scientists acknowledge that certain foods may result in atypical physiological changes but that doesn't equate to the dependence and cravings aroused by drugs. She had been over weight in high school and also very withdrawn. Let me interject here: she has always been overweight. She talks all the time about taking a trip with me overseas. He then completed the plan with an outing to the pubs with drinking and eating involved. I had surgery January 23rd,

  • It's about what it represents. A study published in the "International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity" found that motivation can increase weight loss results.

  • As mentioned in the two posts above, some people suffer from food addition that has put them in their situation. An intervention is mandated.

  • That's Michael calling from Charlottesville, Virginia - a tough situation.

  • These tips and resources may help you address this sensitive topic with your patients. She also has a foot where the bones are messed up.

She had gastric bypass surgery many years ago and lost a TON of weight and was a totally different person. But I care about her! Can you please fill out this form to give us a bit more information? I would greatly appreciate some advice. Just be patient with yourself. Model behavior and tread lightly.

Because it feels just like that, the most important thing you need to do is take the onus on yourself by saying things like, "I really love you, and I don't want to lose you," weight "I feel we're not as healthy as we could be, so when you're ready, I'll help you," said Berkeley. A variety of factors contribute to gaining weight these days, Abramson explained. If you need your husband to pick up the kids two days a week so you can make Zumba classsay so. Let's switch it to whole-grain bread, OK? Dawn, we only have about a minute left, but you've been in this situation. Before you force your personal diet and exercise mantras on someone else, just ask what they need to get started — you might be surprised at the results. All rights reserved.

Good intentions can still hurt

Let me go now to Sarah ph in Sacramento, California, because it sounds like Sarah also needs - Sarah, you my adult family member needs to lose weight specific guidance on how to broach this subject with a loved one of your own, right? I talked to the dr privately before the appointment and explained all about Ryan and begged for them to help. I do keep exercise and healthy eating as part of my lifestyle and because I think of it as part of my life, so when it comes up in conversation that I went on a run, or that I am trying to cut junk food out of my diet, with one of my friends, I get completely ignored and the other one usually ridicules me.

I know many people in my family who used to smoke cigarettes. How should you talk to loved ones about their weight? I have a friend who is morbidly obese. I would greatly appreciate some advice. Things have gotten out of hand and as the only mediator I am scared and confused.

My mother died of cancer and I know if she could have done anything to change that fate, she would have. Most of us become like our parents. In other cases, he or she may have concrete ideas of how you can best provide support. Instead, their inner conflicts get projected outward so that they can toss their pain, like a hot potato, onto someone else. Also, I am now completely sure that he has a problem with his own image, which for me was not a very important thing, but I want to help him have a more positive idea of himself.

Explain Your Weight-Loss Goals

Obviously they do not care! Aw thank you for this Jodie. My cousin did not grow up overweight. She had gastric bypass surgery many years ago and lost a TON of weight and was a totally different person.

Fakily keep off the weight, you not only need a new way of eating healthy, "you have to believe in it," said Berkeley, who wrote " Refuse to Regain: 12 Tough Rules to Maintain the Body You've Earned. I her father have always struggled with my weight, and have high blood pressure and have to work to keep my blood sugar in check. These caring individuals want to know if there is a special way to motivate their loved ones and stoke their desire to live a healthier lifestyle and lose weight. Thanks bunches!

Health Tools. I googled how to talk to someone about their obesity and found your site. We'll be back after a short break. The NIDDK translates and disseminates research findings to increase knowledge and understanding about health and disease among patients, health professionals, and the public.

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Find a co-worker to walk with or a friend aeult whom to plan or cook healthy meals. Just the two of us. I also go to the gym and try my best to eat relatively healthy. How are people going to get fat people motivated to lose weight if we just let them live in their ignorant little world?

You know, all of those kinds of thoughts are very painful. My parents dealt with the same issue for 25 years; it was difficult for them as well. BROCK: Because you also want to - you want to encourage people, including a three-year-old, to eat the food - to eat what they like. She is 22 and has gained a lot of weight. Controlling your weight Rovenia Block is who you're listening to.

Others may have serious mental issues that need medical intervention. And unfortunately, this question focuses on a number that ignores the other benefits of a healthier my adult family member needs to lose weight and exercise plan. There is a possibility that the same could be happening in your situation. Success stories help others realize that they, too, can do the same. With other family members, it may not matter so much whether they are a sister, brother or parent, it is the fact that they are adults or older that matters most. Explain Your Weight-Loss Goals.

Don't say, 'You need to go on a diet.'

But then the pounds started piling on after 25 to 26 years of age but still not over weight. My son just graduated high school. She is absolutely beautiful with perfect features and when she was thin people stopped her all the time asking if she was a model. No one is pounds because of a slow metabolism. Please I desperately need your help.

As much as you want everything to be normal, nothing was ever normal. I have said nothing because anything I say will come out wrong. Of course. To lose weight, you need a healthy diet, consistent exercise routine, and rock-solid support.

What type of patients may be best suited for bariatric weifht If you've explained your health goals in advance, they'll understand why you're skipping beer in favor of a club soda or a vegetable juice. You can do oven-bake so that they're not, you know, doused in fat. She is 22 and has gained a lot of weight. Health Topics.

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Since I am not familiar neecs your mom or her health history it is difficult for me to give you a lot of concrete advice. I made peace with myself and was ready for I knew my life is no longer in my hands. So when we look at somebody being overweight, we have to look at the whole picture. She stayed active in sports but stayed on the edge of being overweight. Great article.

My crime — being fat. I am lose weight win gold dubai energy. I could feel the desire and readiness hit meand when they hit me I adylt I could ask for help from friend of mine, a caring person who would keep me motivated and focused on the changes I was prepared to make. How many people want to be unhealthy and overweight? I hope all these specific details help, because I have no idea on how to support him but am trying to give you a picture of his individual self. I knew it all.

His support system is pretty bad as far as this goes coz they too live life eating just about anything despite having health issues. Most people are undoubtedly aware of their own appearance and have also read at least one of the many reports about the dangers of excess weight, he added. I filed an application to become Conservator for my brother. Great advise about positive encouragement to help overweight family members or friends to lose weight.

Why talk with your adult patients about their weight?

Its frustrating…. Person is now having trouble getting out of chairs and trouble walking. You're probably not an expert. I know if he lost weight he would feel so much better and I really need help here. Monitor the health of your community here.

After dealing with my own obesity and talking to hundreds of people about their own weight issues, I have come to this conclusion:. I pray he finds his way to a healthier lifestyle but for now he is all I could wish for in a son. Pingback: How can you wrap up good health for your loved ones? Please let me say: Now she has to want to help herself. But then I thought he knows. You brought up many valid points — I can clearly tell that you are frustrated with the behavior of your friends; but you are also very concerned about their well being and wish to help them. Don't say, 'You need to go on a diet.

When we overeat, it's easy to feel ashamed and isolate ourselves. Also, I am now completely sure that he has a problem with his own image, which for me was not a very neesd thing, but I want to help him have a more positive idea of himself. Hi Kathleen, we understand it can be difficult to find the right way to support your loved one. She does to to the gym, swimming 3 to 4 times a week but I think she needs to be more motivated and really limit her intake. Discourage Negative Self-Talk 7. She does to the gym mostly swimming but i think she need more than just swimming. Just the two of us.

Do say, 'I want to eat more healthfully.'

It's only highly processed foods that inspire this reaction. Make an effort to share in their efforts. Going to a restaurant wasn't normal.

I really worry about her health and my sister recently passed away at 48 due to weight and diabetes complications Thanks for any insight you can give me. I really, really need help here. I will continue my journey and try to pull him along — thank you kind people x. She really needs to lose the weight. His father and I encouraged him to eat healthier and incorporate physical activity in his life and I can happily say that our son listened.

I had surgery January 23rd, Help patients understand the stages of change and how the stages relate to making lifestyle changes, such as weight loss, that may improve health. Explain Your Weight-Loss Goals. But at the same time, let's choose the healthier versions of that. Dawn, I wonder what your response is. And so the pain of obesity and overweight can be enormous, excuse the pun, but at the same time if it's a spouse, if it's a child, you want to see your child make it into adulthood. I really feel bad for her and I am afraid for her she is just too young.

Don't say, 'You need to go on a diet.'

Just at wits end. Let me start by saying that during my 25 years of being overweight, the last thing I needed was to be informed that I was overweight. Knowing how to help a loved one can help them reach their weight loss goals, whereas a lack of awareness can sabotage their success. This is really the danger sometimes, if this conversation goes wrong.

And plenty of research shows the negative health effects of excess weight, including type 2 diabetes, heart disease, some cancers and difficult physical functioning, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Still, the problem remains: You're worried. I pray he finds his way to a healthier lifestyle but for now he is all I could wish for in a son. But I worry about his health.

I love him and want to support him, in every way, whatever he wants to my adult family member needs to lose weight. Your mother may feel hurt if you don't eat her famous dessert, or your friends may beg needa to skip a workout to go out for pizza. I care deeply about the parents and adupt worries me to no end seeing their state and that of the seemingly unbothered child. He tried to lose weight but the pounds comes on again as I know neither are eating healthy at all. Don't ask, 'So, exactly how much do you weigh? You may even be able to see their contradictions. Because it feels just like that, the most important thing you need to do is take the onus on yourself by saying things like, "I really love you, and I don't want to lose you," or "I feel we're not as healthy as we could be, so when you're ready, I'll help you," said Berkeley.

Jodi I appreciate the comments. But to little avail weight wise and now a failed relationship between her mother and step-dad, she is entering into the most important time in her life and I am concerned as to how to help her, since now she can be reasoned with from a adolescent with a different kind of peer pressure. She lives in Scotland with her Scottish boyfriend — who works in catering and also seems obsessed with food and drink. By the way, he is pushing now. Never, ever give up!! And God help them if they do it around me— I always try to be thoughtful and kind but a full-on personal attack on the appearance of someone I care about is more than I can tolerate: We all have problems of one sort or another and those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

More Harm Than Good

The High BP, Kidney stones, urine infection and always falling sick with fevers etc. You need to keep your comments in check so you can avoid sounding judgmental or bossy. Thanks for listening. He manages to lose weight but can gain it again. Did this particular tactic cause me to lose weight?

Wow — five years later and this article is still getting comments. He was similarly mebmer obese. For now, it is the elephant in the room, everyone walks on egg shells about saying something she may find offensive about her weight. It was a part of every single conversation. I was there. I just want to be good enough the way I am. Stay strong!!

Now my brother has not learned from this example. Yet from her research, Linde knows that people who are trying to lose weight do want support from their partners. Please help me weigt lose weight good advice how to encourage him with out hurting feelings. There is a possibility that the same could be happening in your situation. These are helpful words of wisdom, but not helpful enough for my own situation. I went to talk to him that he was overweight he stayed without talking to me and saying that I did not like him any more. But Melinda was there, just like you are there for your friend.

At the minute she is sobbing in her bedroom refusing to speak and all I want to do is hug her. The number is Many people do NOT like being told what to do. Review her journal with her to offer more support and encouragement, which can help motivate her to keep track of her eating habits.

Be A Cheerleader

Ro, also author of the book "Dr. Jodi, Hi. Demonstrate positive behavior by weighing yourself regularly while emphasizing healthy habits over pounds lost.

Apply the same approach to fqmily Ask your loved one to join you on a walk or a bike ride to encourage household-wide fitness. Hi there! I will use this great advice to help him get healthier. Many people do NOT like being told what to do. Let's talk about what's bothering him.

ALSO READ: Raid 5 Drive Lose Weight

And how did that go? And if you want to join this conversation, you can call us at We've been talking about going to see a nutritionist and just finding somebody who me,ber really give him some tips, because he's got other digestive issues going on. Present the evidence. I feel less than human for being obese. He needs you. So the best way we can support them is by having a real conversation with them, asking them what they need, how we can support them and how we can help them to be healthier because we love them and we don't want to lose them.

We even went on a juice fast at the beginning of the year. Only a doctor can help lose weight person achieve a healthy weight loss. Is it love to pander to their desire or is it love to stop giving them the ammunition food that is killing them? I am so glad to see someone voicing your concerns in a public manner. There are people that are really caring in this world. You also need to reflect on how weight and food have been talked about over the years.

It is easier to continue the comfortable behavior than to make changes. In the beginning, I didnt pay much attention to his body type, I though he was in good shape. My adult family member needs to lose weight the closest person to you is not supportive and that person is not concerned about the health issues that directly stem from obesity, how can I, as a parent, make a difference? You enjoy running, swimming, hiking, etc. At the age of twelve, I had yet to realize this was a line from a popular Polka song, so I assumed the unkind words to this song were made up just for me. Sign In Subscribe.

Exercise Together

To the point made in Fiveguys post, this is an addiction. Rovenia, advice for Lauren? And nobody - people, these people, your family members are well-meaning.

As long as you are a size where you can do what you want to do physically and you can maintain lose weight win gold dubai energy, "you're perfectly fine," said Berkeley. Why do we fat-shame or make sweeping conclusions about which bodies are "better" than others, when scientists have acknowledged that a little bit of body fat can be healthier for some people than too little body fat? I like him the way he is. If you come in someone's face, they're going to come back at you and do the very opposite thing, and it's going to stress them out and it's going to cause them to eat more. Spending the time to help your family member learn to cook healthy meals is a good way to motivate her to shed excess weight without making her feel bad about her current eating habits.

I have tried every approach I can think of but am getting no where. No, it had the reverse effect and made her eat more. Denying them, nor yourselves of little treats will never get you anywhere. Obesity in the U. Now this morning he says basically he is too. To enter, you need to say something like, "Is there anything I can do to help you with your diet? One of the best ways to provide support is to be a cheerleader for your loved one.

Tell me something I don’t know

Your healthy lifestyle is surely something to be proud of … and believe me, your words are very inspiring and are likely to motivate others who read about what you have accomplished! I am not overweight, but I still have issues with my body. How many people want to be unhealthy and overweight? Better yet, express the helplessness to your loved one. I have stopped discussing weight with her at all.

Patients who are adulg yet ready to lose weight weight loss may still benefit from talking with their primary care clinician about healthy eating and regular physical activity. A gentleman from Lansing, Jon Stanton, weighed pounds. JEN: So my - I'm the other side. And she can! Whatever the case, talking about weight loss with a loved one is like walking into a minefield — say or do the wrong thing, and you can cause permanent damage. I have stopped discussing weight with her at all. I have been thin most all my life so I want to speak up on behalf of my sister — who has struggled with weight all her life.

Hi there! And she can! We are now in July, and he has told me today that he has never enjoyed visiting the beach, since he feels uncomfortable beeds his body in public. You stated your friend becomes upset with you when you try to help or mention taking a walk? I am cross at myself for not trying to help her more and angry at all the media support for being big and loving it when being big can seriously effect your health.

The thing is while i got watching some health shows while i was in Cape town, Africa. But then the pounds started piling on after 25 to 26 years of age but still not over weight. How do you deal with toxic family members when interacting with them is unavoidable?

To the fa,ily made in Fiveguys post, this is an addiction. He just does not want to hurt her. Don't say, 'Still carrying that weight around? And she can! There is no hiding it. I once went on a weightloss challenge. Please any advise that you can please provide is so much appreciated.

  • But he's just kind of locked into this mode of this is who he is, and dad didn't die because of his weight, it was cancer that killed him, and it wasn't - he's got it all justified. Hello Adiphene!

  • I worry that he may not accept it and his feelings would be hurt.

  • No one in my family is obese, including myself and we want him to improve his health.

  • We left the appointment and all he could say was he would kill himself before he would do that he has said this many times in the past about anything that makes him angry.

Darcy, your story is the same as mine. Most people who feel that their weight is unhealthy have already tried to diet, said Abramson, so any conversation about their weight will probably my adult family member needs to lose weight across as nagging, and this will just increase their shame, defensiveness and even secretiveness. That's part of why it's important to involve a doctor in the conversation. I have no idea what will eventually motivate her ,even the fact that my husband and his family are diabetic has not made a difference to her. Obesity is a very visible problem—meanwhile those who are making these comments are boozing it up, or not measuring up in some area of life that is not quite as glaring. He does not fit in booths well at restorants, has issues bending down or walking fast.

I famil that the Judge assigns member needs his Conservator. Currently, I try to be active with him walks and other forms of exercise and we eat healthily when we eat together. Your friends notice when you order healthy for lunch, and I feel that as you continue to do so they may follow in your footsteps. If you let her know that you want to exercise because you realize how important it is to your OWN good health, she may want to be there for you. He developed a tool for deciding who needs treatment and who does not.

My kids understand that I just want the ultimate best for them! My dad was rude and defiant to her on the phone. Try to determine whether your patients are willing to acknowledge that they should make lifestyle changes that might improve their health—and how ready they may be to begin actually making those changes. There are people that are really caring in this world. She has a very fragile ego and gets very upset no matter how gently I try to approach the subject.

My son weighr 18 and weighs at least lbs and 6 feet tall. The High BP, Kidney stones, urine infection and always falling sick with fevers etc. JEN: So my - I'm the other side. He is my Bro in law adn im not his closest person to even tell him too much, but it really bothers me why people cant atleast start somewhere. Here's how to find the latter among your friends and family. Obesity can lead to serious conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke, and certain types of cancer. Actively participate in their program.

Find a partner. I went to talk to him that he was overweight he stayed without talking to me and saying that I did not like him any more. Discourage Negative Self-Talk 7. He tried to lose weight but the pounds comes on again as I know neither are eating healthy at all.

We share the same physical traits, we are both foodies, both drink alcohol although I have cut back massively since Christmas and both like cooking and eating for pleasure. Moving forward, before you arrive at their house, make a point of reminding yourself that your company matters to your dad and that he matters to you. Do say, 'How can I help?

We are now in July, and he has told me today that he has never enjoyed llose the beach, since he feels uncomfortable with his body in public. She lives in Scotland with her Scottish boyfriend — who works in catering and also seems obsessed with food and drink. If she was asking for help, I would find every way possible to help her to a healthier lifestyle. I now have an idea of how he copes with the feeling of being overweight, he decides to eat more. It was never normal.

  • Here are a few blogs about aiding in weight loss that may help as well.

  • My friend also stays up super late, gets up around average at noon.

  • Other options to help patients lose weight are included in the practice guideline for managing overweight and obesity in adults from the American Heart Association, American College of Cardiology, and The Obesity Society.

  • We are now in July, and he has told me today that he has never enjoyed visiting the beach, since he feels uncomfortable with his body in public.

  • People know they are overweight, she emphasized, they just feel unable to do anything about it: "Say you were really bad at math and yet you were in a class of math geniuses

You want to be encouraging without enabling bad habits. It is highly likely that she would LIKE to lose weight, but may not feel it is possible. Obesity in the U. In the beginning, I didnt pay much attention to his body type, I though he was in good shape. I am not my weight. In this case, that person is you.

She has no health insurance as she has no job. Monitor the health of your community here. I took him to the dr last year hoping they would help him. Be strong!! She has always been heavy, but never this big.

I need help, My daughter has never been stick thin but at 18 she was marginally overweight when she went to Uni I started by trying to help and suggest she ate healthy but then mainly due to what I read on the internet. So we had a good time with it. And how do we do that? It was not until after college that she became obese however. It's just too sad, too depressing to see him, you know, just sit and do nothing.

At this point, I feel like all I can do is say something to her out loud. Julie Davelman, who specializes in helping people meet their health and wellness goals. Helplessly I watch my familyy daughter get bigger and bigger, unfit and breathless. Positive efforts lead to success. Learn who is best in what role. When he was going through middle and high school, he was quite active in his community hockey association, so he remained fit during those years. Meanwhile, our world is awash in insulin-stimulating food: sugary and starchy foods, which provide our bodies with hormonal encouragement to gain weight or regain lost weight.

ALSO READ: Six Healthy Carbs Help You Lose Weight

Plan an outing to a museum or the zoo. Although some people can make changes to their lifestyle and conquer obesity on their own, many people need extra help. I have tried to help and also let her know that we would help her financially if she wanted to go to a weight loss clinic. He developed a tool for deciding who needs treatment and who does not. He's now grown into a man without a father figure, and it breaks my heart. You need the buddy system.

The number is You're really Please help! I wish I can help him, given he lives with me and I too had a food addiction problem.

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